


Confessions Of Love

by Between_A_Dream



Category: Wynonna Earp (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Happy Ending, post 2x10
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-17
Updated: 2017-08-17
Packaged: 2018-12-16 13:06:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,435
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11829351
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Between_A_Dream/pseuds/Between_A_Dream
Summary: "We have to talk.""I know.""There's a lot we have to discuss.""I know.""This isn't gonna be easy.""I know."Waverly cringed the third time the words left her mouth, but really, what else could she say? Of course she knew how difficult this is going to be for the both of them. A sorry party may have sounded heartbreakingly cute at the hospital, but that was also before Waverly knew they would be talking about a previous marriage, and before Nicole knew they would be talking about a drunken kiss with someone else.





	Confessions Of Love

**Author's Note:**

> Requested by anonymous on Tumblr. Hope you guys enjoy!

"We have to talk."

"I know."

"There's a lot we have to discuss."

"I know."

"This isn't gonna be easy."

"I know."

Waverly cringed the third time the words left her mouth, but really, what else could she say? Of _course_ she knew how difficult this is going to be for the both of them. A sorry party may have sounded heartbreakingly cute at the hospital, but that was also before Waverly knew they would be talking about a previous marriage, and before Nicole knew they would be talking about a drunken kiss with someone else. And now, sitting in the silent confines of the officer's living room, a broken coffee table still on the floor in ruins and scratch marks still visible from the struggle with the widow, it was suddenly even worse because now there was no long viable excuse for either of them to hide it.

They sat in silence for awhile, unsure of where to begin or who should even be the one to engage the conversation.

"I'm not mad about the DNA results," Waverly decided that was the best place to begin, because she wasn't. She wasn't mad about them because really, she knew that her girlfriend had good intentions, and while she had been hurt, she understood. She understood making rash, impulsive decisions to protect the people you love. Hell, if she said she didn't, she'd be an even bigger liar than she already felt like she was.

"Waverly... If we're going to do this, I don't want you to try and preserve my feelings, I want-" Nicole began, but the smaller woman beside her cut her off with a shake of her head.

"I'm not mad Nicole. Honest. I... I was. I really was, but it wasn't just about that. It was everything. The fact that you hid them was just the icing on the cake. Wynonna was pregnant, I'm not an Earp, I may be half revenant... It was so crazy already and I just needed something to be angry about," she explained with a sigh. "And... You're married... God you're really married," the laugh that escaped her lips was harsh, joyless, almost cruel.

"I know I didn't tell you I'm married. It was because I was embarrassed. But you kissing Rosita has thrown me for a loop and I'm not sure how to get past it," Nicole hadn't meant to sound so harsh, and she really hated saying it out loud, more than she would have liked to admit, especially seeing the look of guilt that washed over the younger Earp's face, watching her head hang in shame.

She couldn't deny that sometimes, she still got a bit jealous of Champ, that he got to be Waverly's first, that he had kissed her and touched her and degraded her with insults and verbal abuse, but this was different. This was something that happened while they were in an established relationship, and while she was curious as to what really happened and who initiated what, she really wasn't sure she could stomach any details.

"I know," again with those goddamn words. Waverly sighed, her hands clutched together tightly in her lap.

"Did it feel good?" the words were barely audible as they squeak out from the taller woman's vocal chords, and when her girlfriend looked at her, really looked at her- The way her eyes are darting from side to side, her head is lowered slightly, and her hand rubs at the scar on her arm concealed only by a thin layer of fabric- She could see just how terrified Nicole is of every word that comes from either of them at the moment. Deciding to take a chance to risk it, Waverly reached out carefully and took one of the officer's hands in her own, relieved when she felt a gentle squeeze back.

"It felt like I was drowning," she finally began, almost shuddering at the memory. "I couldn't breathe, I couldn't move, all I could do was think about you, and how it's nothing like kissing you," because really, it's not. Kissing Rosita was _not_ like kissing Nicole, not by a long shot. Sure, the basics were there. A woman's touch was something that Waverly never thought she would find herself craving, but it was more than that. Rosita was soft and warm and all around gorgeous, but was not Nicole Haught.

She wasn't the red headed police officer who won Waverly's heart with nothing more than a dimpled smile, who made her knees weak and her heart pound against her chest, who made her question why she ever thought someone like Champ could even compare to someone like Nicole. Confessing about the kiss had been a sickening task, because she could see how hard the woman beside her had tried not to react, how much she tried to keep her feelings in check because despite a cheating kiss she still felt she was the bigger party at fault and being hurt when she had clearly done more hurting on her own part wasn't acceptable. Not to her. It only made the whole revelation worse.

"I'm sorry," it was really all Waverly could manage to say. "It didn't mean anything" seemed cliché and insincere, and though she was completely sure of her feelings, "I love you" didn't seem appropriate, especially not while trying to defend kissing another woman. Besides, she hadn't actually ever said that yet, never fully confessed her love for the woman beside her out loud for all the world to hear, or at least the two of them. Nicole wasn't really sure what to say about it either, so for awhile, she didn't say anything.

"Do you want this to be over?" now it was the ginger's turn to wince at her girlfriend's voice, and she turned to see Waverly trying to force back tears.

"No!" she answered quickly, squeezing the hand in her own tightly for confirmation. "No, unless... Unless you do?" her voice trembled at the possibility that maybe this was the end, maybe Waverly wanted to leave. That maybe she _should_ leave.

Instead of answering, the brunette ignored the voice in her head telling her it was a bad idea and leaned forward, at least restraining herself enough to keep the kiss gentle. Relief washed over her body when she felt the officer lean into the kiss.

"Do you still feel it?" Waverly's voice was quiet, and she kept their foreheads pressed together. Nicole nodded, didn't need the smaller woman to clarify what IT is because she knows. She know what Waverly means.

She means the way that their hands slide together effortlessly, like they were always meant to find each other, meant to only hold each other.

She means the way that they can't keep their hands off each other when they're together, no matter how long they practice their self control and their patience, they somehow always end up in a heated make out session or at least always holding each other close.

She means the way that every touch, every smile, every subtle glance of the eye ignites a passionate flame that bubbles just under heated skin and builds like a fire.

She means the way that every single kiss feels like it's the beginning of something remarkable, like it's a breath of fresh air after spending an eternity drowning.

"Tell me about her," Waverly didn't clarify who she meant and the ginger didn't need her to. But, she also didn't want to bring that up right now.

"I will," she promised, and the woman beside her knew she meant it, because if Nicole was anything she was a woman of her word. But now isn't the time to discuss Shay or what she had meant, because now she didn't mean anything other than an old friend. And yeah, maybe marriage was a bit of a big thing to hide, but Waverly didn't push her into asking why she never told her because how could she have? It was then that the guilt really began to consume the younger Earp, because so much of her time was devoted to everything else, everything that wasn't Nicole, and she hated it.

It was always Wynonna, her pregnancy, demons, monsters, evil all around them. So much of her life was already planned out, simply because she had no other choice.

"There's so much I don't know about you," Waverly's voice was thoughtful and her eyes were pensive, staring at the wall as if she's staring through it, and Nicole felt her heart melt in her chest at the sheer beauty of the woman sitting next to her, the woman she loved. Still did love. And she almost said it too.

"I..." but she didn't have anything to follow it up with, and she cut herself short, deciding that it was better to stay silent than try to come up with something else to say.

"I know."

She retracted into herself then, pulling back from Waverly's touch, instead holding her arm in her hand where her scar still remained, a deep flesh wound with bite marks and thick, sickly blood-red veins still formed around the edges. It didn't hurt, not anymore, but the memory of the pain was engrained in her mind, and she wasn't sure she'd ever really forget.

Waverly, for her part, was fidgeting with her hands, her lip between her teeth as she tried to think of what to say next. When she looked up, seeing a long fought battle that had finally been lost and a slow tear rolling down the side of Nicole's face, she visibly grimaced, reaching over and catching the drop of salt water before it fell.

There were a hundred other moments she could have confessed, all of them better than their current situation. She could have told Nicole the first time they had sex after the possession. She could have told her their first time ever. She could have told her when she apologized for making a scene in the gymnasium. She could have simply said it louder in the police station, right before Willa fired a gun and almost ended everything Waverly had realized suddenly that she couldn't live without. She could have told her then too.

There had been three occasions now when Nicole stood in the face of death and spat in it, ready to do anything to keep her girlfriend safe without a single regard for her own safety.

But now, sitting in the dim light of the moon that streamed in the window of the officer's living room, Waverly couldn't think of a more perfect time.

"I love you."

And the way Nicole stared at her only made it so much better and worse all at once, because she looked at Waverly like she was her oxygen supply, her reason alone to continue existing. But clouding her eyes behind the shock and the love was something much darker- Doubt. Doubt that the younger Earp really meant her words, doubt that it would last, doubt that it was more than a temporary kind of love.

But it wasn't, and to prove it she moved forward, but not to kiss the taller woman. Instead, she took her arm gently and slowly lifted the sleeve, her eyes never leaving the ginger's in case she saw any indications to stop. When she was sure there were none, she pulled the sleeve back to reveal the scar, deeply engrained in her skin. Nicole's head fell in shame.

"I know... Such a turn on right?" her voice cracked as she attempted a pathetic joke, the corners of her lips turned up in a forced, watery smile. Waverly leaned down and pressed her lips to the scar, leaving her head down against her arm.

"I love you," she whispered again, quieter than her first but firmer as well. "I love you, I love you, I love you," she repeated the words as she pulled Nicole against her, pressing gentle kisses to her collar bone and her jawline and just below her ear. The sound of her hushed voice resonated in the officer's ear and she shivered, her fingers immediately finding their way to thread through long, brunette tresses.

Waverly looked up and saw the doubt fading away, replaced with some of the confidence she'd seen what seemed so long ago, something that looked more like _her_ Nicole.

"I love you."

Her voice trembled and this time it wasn't just a confession, but a question. _Do you love me too?_

"I love you."

And now Nicole's was an answer, that yes, _yes_ she loved her too, how could she not? How could anyone _not_?

But it wasn't that simple for Waverly, because she had screwed up, and for so long screwing up meant that she wasn't worth it anymore, that she was worth giving up on. That's not how Nicole worked, not what she valued in a relationship. It made it easier, if anything, having solid proof that Waverly wasn't as perfect as she'd once feared, and it only made her more beautiful. She too, was human.

Nobody had ever loved her for her mistakes before. Nobody had ever been okay with sticking around even after she messed up, did something impulsive, so for years she bottled it up, didn't let anybody see that she had flaws because they wouldn't love her with them.

But Nicole did.

"We're kind of a mess, huh," Waverly laughed, the first real laugh in what seemed like weeks. Nicole laughed in agreement, and soon the two girls were doubled over in a fit of giggles, tears streaming down their cheeks, and neither one was really sure if it was from laughter or everything else. Maybe it was both.

But by the time the tears ceased and the laughter died down, Nicole was left with a brilliant smile on her face, the same one she'd flashed all those months ago in Shorty's, and when Waverly had kissed her in Nedley's office, or when she had picked the younger woman up and carried her to her bed like she weighed nothing because she felt like she was flying.

Waverly matched her grin and leaned up, pulling her into a slightly hesitant kiss that was only consummated when the officer nodded in consent. It was sloppy- All teeth and swollen lips and lost time- But the smiles on their lips never died. And they stayed that way deep into the night, the only sound ever confirming a presence in the house being the soft whisper of an occasional confession of love.

**Author's Note:**

> Be sure to leave feedback!


End file.
